The Beatitudes

The biggest problems in finding true love is that we either tend to keep picking the wrong person or the right one is standing right in our face and we don't even know it. How many times has this happened in your life? We go in and out of relationships thinking this next one will be better than the last. Never taking the time to evaluate ourselves and learn from past mistakes. What's wrong in today's society that we still can't get this right? What is wrong when people continue to substitute fear for love? When are we going to heal and start believing that love is a beautiful thing? Love is nothing to run from or be afraid of. It amazes me that people have managed to turn love into fear. The only way a new relationship will be better than the last is if you are better. In order for us to get better we must acquire maturity, responsibility and improve our emotional IQ. In order to be responsible you have to learn to admit your wrongs in why the relationship failed. It takes two to tango even if you think your innocent, your not. You made a choice when you picked that person and you made a choice to stay, and you made a choice to invest in that relationship. If you don't see what part you did wrong then that's where maturity and emotional IQ comes in.

Ironically, differences is what makes a relationship interesting. You don't have to have everything in common in order to make a relationship work. It's more important that you know what the deal breakers are. An example of a deal breaker is: Your a devoted Christian and he/she is an atheist, you want to have children and he/she absolutely does not, or he/she slept with one of you family members etc. These are a few of the many deal breakers depending on your own morals and values. While it is not important to have everything in common, it is important that you share the exact same morals and values in life. The scripture says, be ye not unequally yolked. That means you should stay clear of anyone that does not share the same morals and values as you. Take time to get to know someone and don't be so quick to hop in the sack. Sex is so emotional and we can't see straight once we get involved with someone that way. We must practice being friends first before giving our soul to someone. Friendship builds a foundation. No relationship can survive without an excellent foundation. It takes time to really get to know someone. I shed tears when I saw TI and Tiny finally tied the knot. That's because I know their love for one another was built off friendship. They built that foundation and they got each others back. There isn't too much that will be able to tear that down and that's a beautiful thing.

In order to build a foundation you must first learn from your mistakes prior to and during your relationship. Learn to listen to each other and support each other. In other words have each others back. Stop with all the negative talk and learn to say positive things to each other regularly. If you put positivity out into the universe, that's what you will get back. You have to reinvent your self and relationship every now and then because sometimes it does get boring. Being bored is not an excuse to cheat. If your a mature individual and you love and value your partner, then cheating will never be an option. That goes for both male and female. Last but not least, keep family and friends out of your relationships. This is always a recipe for disaster as you can become confused by other peoples thoughts and opinions about your relationship. Most of the time they can't even figure out their own partners.

The bottom line is that communication begets friendship, friendship begets acceptance, acceptance begets compromise, compromise begets honesty, honesty begets trust, trust begets respect, respect begets maturity, maturity begets value, value begets high emotional IQ which equals LOVE. You have to learn to know when you've chosen the wrong person, and when the right one is right in your face, when to work on it and when to let go. God did not mean for 'this thing called love' to be so difficult. He meant for us to learn and grow and to be able to know the right one when we see him/her. He never meant for it to be so much confusion. I always say "we create our own problems, therefore we can create our own peace." Let's start the healing process...Peace!!