Well, I'm back once again on this topic of love. This time I'm inspired by a young man I met at a singles social event I attended last week. This event was for singles which consisted of a complimentary drink and discussing several different topics. They also do occasional speed dating. The topic of that day was 'why do men cheat'. There were several other topics discussed, but I was fixed on this one.
It immediately struck me as odd when this young man admitted he was a 'cheater' and felt that it was fine as long as he was up front in the beginning about his life style. He was the facilitator and creator of this event. He felt it's better to be honest and give someone the chance to opt out rather than lead someone on. He strongly felt that he should be able to do this as long as he held it down and was a great provider. I actually admired how confident this young man was about his beliefs. In other words, confidence can take you a long way.
It didn't surprise me that no one really knew exactly why men cheat. A couple of men offered their opinions about the subject. One gentleman appeared to have a very high emotional IQ and was able to offer some interesting thoughts on the subject. He was married and older than the young man I'm referring to. Unfortunately, I did not take notes and don't remember exactly what was said. Ultimately, I believe anyone who cheats does so because of irresponsibility and a very poor emotional IQ.
Anyway, I sat quietly taking everything in because I did not want my opinion to offend anyone and I definitely had a different point of view. Towards the end of this event the young man I'm referring to made an attempt to explain why he felt he was in the 'elite' category. Maybe because he was young, attractive and made excellent money, I don't know. The more he attemted to explain the less convinced I was. He ended up admitting he's 99% sure he does not want to get married and if he ever did it would be with someone who could accept his cheating and be willing to have a threesome with another women. He knew for sure that there are women out there that would accept this and I totally agree. I totally feel that this young man would feel differently if he were unattractive, over forty and broke. For sure maturity would change his feelings about this whole thing.
I appreciated dudes honesty and confidence, but I didn't buy this at all. When anyone talks like that it goes deeper than anyone can imagine. I'm no psychiatrist, but it doesn't take one to figure this out. I see alot of hurt and pain in this young man masked by his confidence. In other words, I felt dude had a low emotional IQ. That was the most confused thing I've ever heard. How could anyone make sense out of that? It's sad how people have gotten away from the essence of love and being human. We live in a world that is so use to negativity that we have become adjusted and accept this as the norm. We put love and humanity on the back burner and put our jobs and selfish needs ahead of everything. How can this be right? It angers me when I hear someone say "I don't have time to date because my career is more important". I believe 100% in The Grind, but in no way should it ever take the place what's human. We are getting so use to doing this that it's also becoming acceptable.
In summation, my goal is not to 'out' anyone nor tear them down. It's more important to me for people to get back to putting love first. We cannot cheat on our mates just because we're great providers and think it's ok. We definitely cannot put The Grind before love. When it's all said and done we can't take it with us... When we're gone from this earth the money gets left behind. Matthew 18:18 says Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever is loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Now, That Human!! Let's get back to Love... Don't get mad at me, just enlighten me...Peace!!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
This Thing Called Love
It's amazing how the human relationship is one of the most difficult things in the world to figure out. I've heard this question so many times, " what is love"? There has been numerous debates on the radio and amongst friends in regards to this subject. It's funny how many actually really don't know what love is. Well, God summed it up for us in the scriptures. He kept it simple knowing we would have trouble trying to figure this thing out all by ourselves. The scripture says, "There is no fear in love for perfect love casteth out all fear. I've seen this phrase broken down by some of the smartest individuals out there, but no matter which way you look at it they are all still saying the same thing. The word fear is a very powerful thing, because fear is what makes love imperfect. Fear will cause poor communication, lack of responsibility and lack of value for another.
I don't hear people saying too much about the word 'value'. I often wonder why this is the case because we have value for so many irrelevant things in life, but we have trouble valuing one another. Therefore, my assumption is that people understand value just as much as they understand what love is. Value can make or break a relationship. What you put value in is the thing that you take the most pride in. Unfortunately, we take more pride in our homes and cars and tend to put human relationships on the back burner. We don't nurture our relationships and care about each the way it was actually meant to be. If a relationship doesn't work out we simply turn it lose or throw it away and we're on to the next one. The sad part is people will fight for their houses and die for their cars. It's an atrocity how we've failed to prioritize the most human thing of life which is love. When I had no 'value' I dated a guy my good friend really liked and I almost lost her friendship. When I learned to value her I let him go. I put her first and I was fine with it. Thank you Lord for teaching me value at an early age.
I would love to see people have more positive interactions with one another. Communication is an essential ingredient of life and without it there is no functioning. Lack of it is like taking a bath without water. It's literally impossible to pull off. We don't talk to each other, listen to each other nor practice honesty the way we should. We are so afraid that if we tell the truth we will end up losing out. Unfortunately, we still lose because we failed to be honest. Oh, my guess is that poor communication coincides with fear.
I believe relationships fail due to the reasons I've mentioned, but most relationships fail because we poorly choose the people we allow into our lives. I get it as far as making mistakes when we are young and first starting out, but it's sad when you find you've reached a certain stage and still don't get it. It's such a shame to see a person continue the same pattern never learning from prior mistakes and never maturing in love. Thus allowing this to make them even more cold and miserable. Relationships are meant to learn from not make you cold hearted and miserable. It's supposed to prepare you to be better and know the right one when you see him/her. I often ask how did we get this so backwards? Oh yeah, I'm guessing that would be fear.
In summation, Love is what is going to end up healing the world. I still believe in the essence of love and I have great hopes that we can improve our lives and relationships one individual at a time, one soul at a time. Like Oprah says, we've gotta learn to live our best lives. Let's get back to being human and and putting love first. Let's make a pack that this will be part of transforming ourselves into better lovers and friends... Please feel free to make a comment on anything I've said. Like I always say, don't get mad at me just enlighten me...Peace!!
I don't hear people saying too much about the word 'value'. I often wonder why this is the case because we have value for so many irrelevant things in life, but we have trouble valuing one another. Therefore, my assumption is that people understand value just as much as they understand what love is. Value can make or break a relationship. What you put value in is the thing that you take the most pride in. Unfortunately, we take more pride in our homes and cars and tend to put human relationships on the back burner. We don't nurture our relationships and care about each the way it was actually meant to be. If a relationship doesn't work out we simply turn it lose or throw it away and we're on to the next one. The sad part is people will fight for their houses and die for their cars. It's an atrocity how we've failed to prioritize the most human thing of life which is love. When I had no 'value' I dated a guy my good friend really liked and I almost lost her friendship. When I learned to value her I let him go. I put her first and I was fine with it. Thank you Lord for teaching me value at an early age.
I would love to see people have more positive interactions with one another. Communication is an essential ingredient of life and without it there is no functioning. Lack of it is like taking a bath without water. It's literally impossible to pull off. We don't talk to each other, listen to each other nor practice honesty the way we should. We are so afraid that if we tell the truth we will end up losing out. Unfortunately, we still lose because we failed to be honest. Oh, my guess is that poor communication coincides with fear.
I believe relationships fail due to the reasons I've mentioned, but most relationships fail because we poorly choose the people we allow into our lives. I get it as far as making mistakes when we are young and first starting out, but it's sad when you find you've reached a certain stage and still don't get it. It's such a shame to see a person continue the same pattern never learning from prior mistakes and never maturing in love. Thus allowing this to make them even more cold and miserable. Relationships are meant to learn from not make you cold hearted and miserable. It's supposed to prepare you to be better and know the right one when you see him/her. I often ask how did we get this so backwards? Oh yeah, I'm guessing that would be fear.
In summation, Love is what is going to end up healing the world. I still believe in the essence of love and I have great hopes that we can improve our lives and relationships one individual at a time, one soul at a time. Like Oprah says, we've gotta learn to live our best lives. Let's get back to being human and and putting love first. Let's make a pack that this will be part of transforming ourselves into better lovers and friends... Please feel free to make a comment on anything I've said. Like I always say, don't get mad at me just enlighten me...Peace!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Undefeated
Have you ever felt like you have the whole world on your shoulders? In other words you feel like you just can't get no love no matter what you do. What is the world coming to when people have become so mechanical living their lives without human emotion.
Society controls us to the point where this has become the norm. We don't know how to love each other anymore. We don't have value for those who are closest to us. Not only that, but we've grown accustomed to pretending in our everyday lives. It saddens me to see so much hatred and violence in the world. We have so much accessible to us , but we won't use it. We have marriage counseling, relationship therapy and most of all we have God. We worry about what people think about us yet these are the same folks who really don't know or understand themselves.
It's time to start recognizing our weaknesses and one day at a time turn weakness to strength. Let's focus on living our best lives which is impossible to do without love in our hearts. No one can determine your self worth accept for God and yourself. The more we learn to live our best life, the more we are undefeated....We must bring love back into the world one day at a time one individual at a time...That's really the only way to achieve lasting happiness and peace... #TeamLove holla at me!...And If someone doesn't like something I said, don't fight me enlighten me!...Undefeated!!
Society controls us to the point where this has become the norm. We don't know how to love each other anymore. We don't have value for those who are closest to us. Not only that, but we've grown accustomed to pretending in our everyday lives. It saddens me to see so much hatred and violence in the world. We have so much accessible to us , but we won't use it. We have marriage counseling, relationship therapy and most of all we have God. We worry about what people think about us yet these are the same folks who really don't know or understand themselves.
It's time to start recognizing our weaknesses and one day at a time turn weakness to strength. Let's focus on living our best lives which is impossible to do without love in our hearts. No one can determine your self worth accept for God and yourself. The more we learn to live our best life, the more we are undefeated....We must bring love back into the world one day at a time one individual at a time...That's really the only way to achieve lasting happiness and peace... #TeamLove holla at me!...And If someone doesn't like something I said, don't fight me enlighten me!...Undefeated!!
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