Dealing With Horrible Bosses

How do you deal with a horrible boss in the work place? Is there any way to work 9-5 everyday and successfully deal with a crazed maniac? I realize this sounds excruciatingly difficult, but all things are possible. There is hope to relieve some of the stress and pain caused by dealing with a manic personality on a daily basis. Well, a horrible boss can be rude, disrespectful, and intimidating using you as a scapegoat in order to minimize his own faults. You may actually be dealing with someone who is not on his medications, stressed out at home or doesn't even know what is doing so he tries to put his shortcomings onto you making you feel like you did something wrong. I've experienced this first hand for many years before I finally got hip to it. It took a while for me to realize that I was right in the way I felt, but wrong in the way I handled things. I use to speak out strongly and voice my opinions only to complicate the situation even more. It became a vicious cycle which almost lead to my demise. In the long run being passive and allowing people walk all over you is never going to be a workable solution. It only makes you appear desperate turning you into an easy target for continued harassment and abuse. Over a period of time I've learned that a rock doesn't change it's shape. To put it mildly people are who they are and it is not our job to try to change them. We cannot stop people from being who they are. Your horrible boss will never care about your opinions and your being all in your emotions. In the long run you can change your work place, but you take the chance of running into this same problem wherever you go. I feel like you have to change yourself or you will take YOU to the next situation. My task for today is to present some ideas for those who have found themselves paralyzed in this type of situation not knowing which direction to take concerning these crazed maniacs who actually believe they are really good people.

My first suggestion is: "Take Back Your Power". The power is within you and you have way more power than you think you do.Well, how do I do that thing with 'Power'? Truth be told, you definitely can't do it if you give your superior the power. We give up our power by responding to his negative behaviors with our emotions. Your emotions are valid, but never cool in this situation. Don't try to think of clever things to say to your boss or hope he/she understands you. He does not. Not when you are in a situation of having a horrible boss. It's not worth it because your manic boss doesn't care anything about you. He/she will never be concerned about the way you feel ever in this lifetime. I'm pleading this as an effort to get you to understand what you are dealing with in this type of situation. He/she also feels that they are right to treat you the way he does. You must accept that this person is not going to change because he/she doesn't have the capacity to change nor does he want to. Acceptance is a B****. Your horrible boss has a need that is being fulfilled in some deranged way and you will NOT be the one to change that in any way, shape or form. You must choose your battles wisely and everything is not your battle!!.. In other words, keep your ammunition in a safe place and only use it in a life or death situation. Take back your power by learning to ignore the culprit never letting him/her know exactly where you are coming from or exactly what is on your mind. Keep him guessing. It's the same as when your a customer at the bank or McDonald's etc.. Your shown absolutely no emotions when they've done something to piss you off. You can't figure out where they are coming from because they have completely ignored you. Remember you are not dealing with a normal personality with a horrible boss. Ignoring the culprit gives you an advantage. That's not a negative thing because he/she has to work even harder to try and 'attack you'. Let him/her do all the work. They don't have to know you don't give a F***. Keep it simple. When it becomes something totally against your morals and values then it's on! Otherwise, what's more important is for you to know why you are there and what you are getting out of being there. It could be your close to acquiring a pension, supports your lavish lifestyle or simply that you have access to parking. Only you can determine that and trust me 'That's Powerful'!

Every relationship cannot be reconciled. If you cannot move on to another job physically then remove yourself from the situation emotionally. Learn to ignore and mentally block out your horrible boss. If needed, go to the bathroom to deep breathe and meditate. If you allow yourself to get too agitated and angry, then you can't hear what your inner spirit is saying to you. Learn to trust your inner spirit and what its saying to you at all times. If you can find a way to pay attention your inner spirit will always guide you and reveal the correct answers. This is why I stress the need for you to remain quiet. Our inner spirit is PERFECT and will always give you the right answers. You'll know when you have the right answer when you feel PEACE. Remember no emotions are allowed. Don't allow your horrible boss to take you out of your character. If you are a good person then keep on being a good person. Just keep on being you.

Next, keep things in perspective. Think before you act. Use your head, but don't think too much. Know when your being punked. Some bosses may be testing you to see how you'll respond. If you feel the need to speak your mind to your horrible boss you should always have a back up plan. Only you can determine what that is. If you really need this job keep your mouth shut. You don't want to start a battle and cause more animosity between the two of you, because you are sure to lose. Trust me I've been through this. Swallow your pride and never let him know where your coming from. Take back your power! After awhile this will become second nature. You will have masterminded a plan to keep you at any job no matter where you go. Once you are able to do this you will find yourself extremely happy and at peace. Yes you can have peace in the mist of a storm.

Furthermore, document, document, document! You do not need to keep a journal of everything that goes on during the course of the day. Just email and/or write everything down that has managed to become your battle. Then you can email and/or copy your horrible boss in regards to this situation in particular. Be very detailed in your explanation and request for your supervisor to 'please advise'. If your really getting your work done, you do not have time to write down every little thing everyday....Come in early, leave late, follow the rules, keep the focus and get the job done to the best of your ability. Communication is not always the key in this situation. I say this because your boss already has a set way of thinking and it won't change. Don't try to take your boss out of his/her comfort zone because your boss is going through something that you wouldn't understand. He may be trying to keep his own job and/ or move up within the workplace. You will never know.

Know when your time is up. There comes a time when enough is enough. You don't have to be abused and mistreated just to earn a living and enjoy the basic necessities of life. You must accept your horrible boss for who he is and strategically remove yourself from the situation. In other words leave on your own terms, in your own way, in your own time, with your head up and a** out! More importantly, if you must leave make sure you leave the right way resigning with a two weeks notice. Make sure you have a job lined up before leaving. If it's already gotten this bad you should have reported to Human Resources so that they are aware of what is going on, but please make sure you have sufficient documentation and make sure you have your back up plan in place before going to human resources. Playing smart is how you take back your power. Know that God allows this type situation to happen to make you stronger and better, not make you a quitter. These are the things that builds character. Your horrible boss has no character, but you do.

Lastly, upon moving on find a job with a union. This will at least make it much harder for you to get fired or discriminated against in your next position. Don't get me wrong, you can still get fired, but it's much harder when there's a union involved. Know your rights and what is available to you in and outside the work place.

In summation, we can treat a poor work relationship the same way we would treat any poor relationship. We are still dealing with communication, forgiveness, and closure. We are also dealing with denial, anger and fear of letting go. It's all the same. We don't have to hold on to poor relationships whether it be at home or in the work place. We can attempt to make things work for our own benefits, but we must also learn when it's time to let go. If it's making you sick physically and mentally it's probably time to put your health first and move on. We can choose our own battles and know that we don't have to tolerate bad behavior and mistreatment from anyone. We deserve to be in relationships that contribute to our happiness and well being. Not relationships that devastate or tear us down. We deserve to be happy. Don't be afraid to let go and take a chance at happiness. Step outside the box, but do it with dignity and respect. I left a secure good paying job for a chance at peace and happiness. That job was making me sick with anxiety and depression. For some that would have been a tough call, but I left on my own terms with my head up and a** out. I never looked back. I call it an amicable split. It simply means this was no longer working for me. It became about me and not my horrible boss. About what I wanted and did not want. What I will tolerate and will not tolerate. I  pulled a switch and took back 'My Power'. I've always had the power to set records and make history. It's scary and I don't know what's ahead of me, but I do know what I want. "What you thought was meant for bad always turns out for the good as long as you learn from your mistakes." The spirit will always guide you. "You do have a right to a happy life and a happy ending". Take back your power!